“I think that men and women in the last decade have become more demanding of their relationships. We won’t tolerate a relationship that does not completely fulfil us both physically and emotionally. The old adage of being left on the shelf at 30 has been overtaken with singles out to find a partner that complements and excites them, rather that settling for a comfortable relationship fearful of being alone. For me to want to spend my life with somebody, I need to have that explosive chemistry that is so hard to explain yet powerful enough to blow me away every time she walks into the room or when I hear her voice. I’m generally more promiscuous than most, having a high sex drive and liking to meet new people and have some fun. Despite this however, I am constantly aware that finding the right person to spend my life with is a much higher priority.”
Participant – Brent Heywood, 2005
“When competition’s ugly brazenness meets me as lonely and isolated persons on the street corner sadness strips away my comfort. My vulnerability, my maleness is exposed with this rush of sadness. Am I alone? My up-bringing, my trust in goodness, my experience and my aggression push aside such bouts of sadness, but not without a compromise, a niggle of doubt. Doubt the curse of a real man, the shaker of confidence. For me doubt’s uncertainty brings a space to learn, the colleague, if you like, of wisdom and also the space to dream. Just wait a little longer and maybe things will turn. Maybe you will be able to gain control for long enough to set a new track or to find a partner for support and love and spin a cocoon of contentment from which to watch the world and comment. ‘Let us hope the news is not bad Doctor because the fairytales are good’.”
Participant – Jon, 2005
“I feel being a single in your 30’s is somewhat liberating as I feel that I am not conforming to the traditional path of life and is now becoming more accepted and common to still be single in your 30’s without someone thinking there is something wrong with you. In saying that I do believe that there is still a subtle undertone where there are still romantics and dreamers who still want that marriage and white picket fence and I believe most woman still want that prince charming to come and rescue them and live happily ever after. I have had relationships in the past where I felt they wanted me to be almost a father figure and to be this wonderful prince, well I aint that prince and I aint perfect I prefer to be in a relationship where it is based on equality and wanting me for me, not what they fantasize about.”
Participant – Roger Wheelahan 2005
“The effects of the ‘cinderella complex’ on women have been debated at length without canvassing or considering the male perspective of commitment.”
Photographer – Belinda Mason, 2005